Posted in Encouragement, Leadership, Parenting, Success

How To Have The Family You’ve Always Dreamed Of – Part 2

th

Last time we talked about the power of our words and we asked ourselves “What are we naming things?”  Today, we’re going to discuss another important principle.  Are you ready for principle number two?

#2 – Implement the 90/10 Principle

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to get focused on the things your loved ones do wrong?  I believe one of the most common reasons is wrong focus (thinking) or self focus (thinking). Most parents realize that their kids are a reflection of them, and if their kid looks bad, they look bad.  This may even be at a subconscious level.

In any case, this can make you focus on the 10% of their behavior that’s wrong instead of the 90% of their behavior that’s right.  Let’s call that the 10/90 Principle. Its the little voice in your head that’s screaming, “You’re making me look bad with that 10%.”  Here’s the problem with that.  Whatever you focus on becomes the focus.  It gets bigger.

Think of your own life, when someone, a parent, a spouse, a boss, tends to focus on what you do wrong and never or rarely praises for what you do right, what happens?  You feel defeated!  Right?  It either makes you feel mad or it makes you want to give up. That’s why the Word says in

Ephesians 6:4 – Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master. msg

While you can’t ignore disobedience, and we’ll hit that one at a later date,. you need to focus far more of your energy on encouraging and coaching them in what they are doing right.  There are already enough sources telling them everything they do wrong. Besides, when we focus primarily on what they do wrong, it creates a defeated spirit and can ultimately lead to rebellion.  When we focus on the 90% right, the 10% usually self corrects. So make a choice to affirm what they do right daily and tell them.  Here’s an assignment: Pray and ask God to show you all the great qualities in your child, or your spouse for that matter, and then make a list of them and thank God for them everyday. It will reprogram your thinking and get you out of this rut. Decide to implement the 90/10 principle today!

Posted in Encouragement, Leadership, Success

Releasing Soon . . . Transform

Sandy-Lawson-Cover-Front

Book Summary

Are you ready to be Transformed?  Our new book is scheduled for release soon.  Get a sneak peek at http://sandylawson.thetransformbook.com/

The World’s Leading Entrepreneurs and Professionals Get to the Heart and Soul of Transforming Your Life, Business & Health

When we think of transformation, we automatically think of metamorphosis or change. One of the first metamorphoses we discover as a child is the universally quoted change of the caterpillar into the butterfly. The positive symbolism of this transformation is liberally applied to illustrate the change from “ugly duckling” to “elegant swan” in all fields.

This symbolism readily transfers to just about any change for the better. The guidance of individuals who have experienced positive change with mentoring, have taken calculated risks, and enjoyed accomplishments in their field may be seen as role models. We also note that the transformations of the PremierExperts® in this book are not limited by “dollars and cents” measurement, but include body, mind and soul accomplishments.

The transforming experiences discussed by the PremierExperts® in this book cover many subjects, including positive mindset changes, changes wrought by perseverance, passion, due diligence, restructuring, technology, systems, techniques, etc. In fact, they cover positive changes that cut across numerous disciplines and fields.

So get ready to TRANSFORM yourself for success!!!

 

 

 

 

Posted in Encouragement, Reflection, Success

Just Do It

 

Perfection is over-rated. An idea doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be implemented.

~Unknown

 

Are you like me?  You get a great idea and then it never gets implemented because you spin your wheels trying to get it just right before you do it.  I’m learning to start somewhere, because somewhere is better than no where.  Once I get it started, then I can improve it as I go.  It saddens me a bit to think of the trail of great ideas that have fallen into the ditch of inaction, but it th-1encourages me to change my ways and stop the bleeding.  How do you get things implemented?

 

 

Posted in Encouragement

Don’t Quit

02_09_8_prev

Lately, I’ve talked to so many people going through extremely difficult situations.  Some are just hanging by a thread.  Maybe you’re like one of those on the verge of giving up.  Don’t quit. You only lose when you quit.  I ran across this poem and thought it might encourage someone.

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and debts are high,
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit…
Rest if you must—but don’t you quit.

Life is strange with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won if he’d stuck it out.
Don’t give up, though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow.

The goal may be nearer than
It seems to a tired man with rolled up sleeves
;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems afar.
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,
It’s when things go wrong
That you mustn’t quit.

– Unknown

 

 

Posted in Encouragement, Leadership, Reflection, Success

JOY the Heart Check

This week, I’ve been thinking a lot about the source of true joy.  Jesus said, if you want to be great, you need to be the servant of all.  Apparently, inherent in achieving joy, is dying to self. I remember a wise person once told me that you never know if you have a servant’s heart until someone treats you like a servant.  Has anyone ever treated you like a servant?  I choose to think of it as a heart check, and if I find any resentment lurking, I find a way to go the second mile. It never fails to turn resentment into peace and pride into joy.  True joy comes not from what we get, but from what we give.  What are some other ways that you jump start your joy?heart

Posted in Encouragement, Leadership, Success

3 Simple Steps To Dream Again – Part 3

3. Don’t give up on your dreams.  

Or, as they say in the classic film “Galaxy Quest”  “Never Give Up Never Surrender!”

You don’t lose until you quit. Your breakthrough could be moments away.  Keep looking up, keep trusting God and when your circumstances overwhelm you, and it all looks impossible. Simply change your perspective and look at it through God’s eyes.

Ephesians 2:6 encourages us that we are seated with Christ in Heavenly places.  Notice it says, “are seated” not “will be seated.”  When we’re seated at that altitude, we can have access to the big picture that helps us see beyond the immediate obstacles to the glorious potential.

Seeing it through from God’s perspective helps you keep your heart right. When we see things from God’s perspective it changes everything.

After 23 years, Joseph’s dream came to pass just as he had seen it at 17 years of age.  When the famine forced his family to come to Egypt in search of food, they bowed low before Egypt’s great ruler   . . .  Joseph – just like in his dream.  In Chapter 45 Joseph reveals his identity to his brothers.  In this passage, he also reveals his heart of forgiveness, and his right perspective – God’s.  Having God’s perspective caused him to trust in God and believe beyond circumstance which protected him from bitterness, and unforgiveness.

So Joseph didn’t let his past determine his future, made others successful, and he never gave up.  Joseph saved Egypt, he saved his people, and he changed the world.

Take a pointer from one of the greatest heroes who ever lived, Joseph. Never ever stop dreaming no matter what, the world needs your dream!

 

Posted in Encouragement, Leadership

3 Simple Steps to Dream Again – Part 2

You haven’t heard from me for a while because I’ve been working on an exciting project.  I just finished a chapter for Brian Tracy’s new book “Transformed” which comes out in the fall!

Now back to Joseph and the art of dreaming.  As we continue the story of Joseph, I’m gonna give you a job.  I want you to watch for these things in Joseph: expressions of self pity, complaining and griping, excuses, blaming his past relationships or experiences for his current problems, excuses why he cannot do something, anything, giving up, or quitting. In fact, I want you to watch for any sign, any sign at all, of any dysfunction in his life.

So Joseph arrives in Egypt and gets sold to Potiphar the head of Pharaoh’s Palace guard.  We are now in Genesis 39. At once he goes to work with all his heart and immediately Potiphar starts noticing that everything Joseph touches gets better! See Genesis 39:2. Here we see our second key to dreaming again.

2.  Make Someone Else a Success

Making someone else a success is the fastest way to personal success. Solve someone’s problems and your value will go up exponentially.  Don’t bring problems, bring solutions.

Luke 16:12  And if you have not been faithful in what is another man’s, who will give you what is your own?

Now back to Joseph . . .

Before you can turn around, Joseph is totally in charge of everything Potiphar owns.  And just when it looks like he’s got it made in the shade,  Potiphar’s wife tells a whopper about him and gets him thrown in prison.  So Joseph gets thrown into the prison.  These were not pleasant accommodations. No windows, cots, toilets.  Check out Genesis 39:21-22 for signs of complaining etc.  Do you see any? No, because of his great attitude, before long he’s running the whole place.

A true leader understands that when you make someone else a success everyone wins.

So you can see where ever you put Joseph he’s gonna make them a success.  But you say things just seems to be getting worse . . . . well yeah.

Dreams take time.  Our culture has changed but God hasn’t, we must have patience to experience the fulfillment of our dream. We’re now in chapter 40. Meanwhile the clock is ticking this is about 11 years after he had the dreams.

About this time, the Pharaoh’s Baker and Cupbearer get thrown in jail because they ticked Pharaoh off and they both have troubling dreams.

Check this scripture out . . . with all Joseph’s problems he’s worried about someone else . . .

Genesis 40:6-7  The next morning Joseph noticed the dejected look on their faces. “Why do you look so worried today?” he asked.

They tell him they have had disturbing dreams and Joseph says interpreting dreams is God’s business, tell me the dreams. So they tell him their dreams, he interprets them.

Joseph tells the cup-bearer to please remember to tell the Pharaoh how he’s in jail unjustly and to please let him out.Then Pharaoh has the baker and the cup-bearer come to his Birthday Party.  Just like Joseph had predicted, the baker is executed and the cup-bearer is restored to his old position.

The cup-bearer is so grateful that he totally forgets all about Joseph for another 2 years. Now we’re in Chapter 41.That is until Pharaoh too has troubling dreams.  When he can’t find anyone to interpret his dreams  . . . then the cup-bearer remembers “Oh yeah, there was this guy in jail who told me and the baker what our dreams meant and it happened just like he said.”

So they send for Joseph, clean him up, and bring him to Pharaoh.  Long and short, Joseph interprets his dreams and Pharaoh makes him second in command of all Egypt on the spot.  From prison to the palace in a moments time. Then Pharaoh changed his name to  Zaphenath-Paneah which means “Savior of the world.”

To be continued . . .
Posted in Encouragement, Leadership, Success

3 Simple Steps to Dream Again – Part 1

Dreams and aspirations . . .  we all have them or had them. As kids, we come with a built in sense of destiny and nothing is out of reach . . . I’m gonna be president, a fireman, a ballerina an astronaut.  Notice how its all high an nobel, when was the last time you met a kid who said, “I want to be a bank robber when I grow up . . . that’s my dream.”

My dream as a kid was to be the first woman Supreme Court Justice.  My passion was to make wrongs right.

But for many of us, somehow these high and nobel dreams have drifted into a permanent dream state instead of becoming living realities in our lives.

God did not create us just to dream . . .  but to live.  He did not create us to be wallflowers, He created us to be dancers.  God did not create us to be spectators, He created us to be world changers. So, how do you get your dreams from concept to reality?

By definition, a dream is a strong desire to do something high or great. In contrast, the opposite of a dream or aspiration is aimlessness.  Without a dream, we become aimless.  Without aim or purpose.  You know the old saying, if you aim a nothing, you’ll hit it every time. But God says . . .

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

My goal here is to try to encourage and challenge you to pursue the dreams that are in your heart, and if your dreams are all but dead to stir those embers into a fire.  Because your dreams do not just impact you, they impact others.

It’s said that encouragement is the oxygen of the soul.  My hope is to give you oxygen.  Here is Key #1 of this three part series from the life of Joseph that just may help.

1.  Don’t let your past determine your future.

The story of Joseph starts to unfold in Genesis 37.  Here’s the 411.  Joseph is the son of the Bible Patriarch Jacob.  Jacob had just spent 20 years in Haran where 11 of his boys were born. He had 4 wives Leah, Rachel – who had died giving birth to Jacob’s 12th son Benjamin on the way back from Haran – Bilhah and Zilpah who were originally Leah’s and Rachel’s handmaids.  It doesn’t take a degree in rocket science to see that Joseph’s blended family is dysfunctional to the max.  First off, there is Dad who tried to bring God’s plan into his life by lying, cheating, and conniving.  A trait he had passed on to most of his boys not to mention some serious moral flaws and fopaus.  To make matters worse Jacob showed blatant favor to Joseph, Rachel’s boy by giving him a coat that many scholars believe made him boss of his older brothers, something that just didn’t happen in Jewish culture. Talk about family tension!  So, it is not surprising that his brothers hated him and made no attempt to hide it.

Here’s an interesting side note:  the brothers couldn’t say a kind thing about him, and yet Joseph is one 3 or 4 characters in the entire Bible, one of them being Jesus, that not one negative thing is said about. In fact, Joseph is actually a type and shadow of Jesus.

As our story continues, Joseph has a dream.  He dreams that he and his brothers were out in a field tying up bundles of grain and suddenly his bundle stands up and all the brothers bundles gather round him and bow low before him. So what does the brilliant 17 year old Joseph do?  . . . He goes and tells his brothers.  This was like throwing gas on a fire.

Here’s what we can glean from this:

It’s not always wise to tell everything you know!  Some things are better kept between you and God. Not the millions of people on facebook.

Second,  not everyone is going to be excited about your dream.  In fact, the odds are that more people will try to discourage you from achieving your dream than will believe in your dream and help you achieve it.  Some will even try to sabotage your dream.

On with the story. Then, if things weren’t already bad enough, he has another dream this time the sun, moon and eleven stars bowed low before me. So has Joseph wised up?  No . . . this time he not only tells his brothers, but his dad as well. His dad gets on his case “What kind of dream is that?  Will your mother and I and your brothers all bow down to the ground before you?”

The word goes on to say while his brothers were filled with jealousy,  Jacob ponder what it could mean.

Soon after this, Joseph gets sent to check on his brothers who are watching the sheep. This was not out in the backyard, this was about a 70 mile trek by foot. Joseph’s brothers see him coming from a ways off and say, “Let’s kill this dreamer.  Then we’ll see what will become of his dreams.”  So they devise this plot to kill him and throw his body into a cistern and tell their Father he was eaten by a wild animal.

Luckily, his brother Reuben intervenes and says, “Hey, let’s not kill him . . . why have his blood on our hands, we’ll just throw him in the empty cistern, then he’ll die without us having to do it.”  And all the brothers thought it was a great idea.

Then they do what any rational thinking group of people would do, they cook dinner like nothing happened.  At this point in the story, there is nothing recorded about Joseph’s reaction to all this, but in Genesis Chapter 42:21 some 22 or so years later, we’re privy to a conversation the brothers have after they have come to Egypt to get grain and are accused of being spies.

“Speaking among themselves, they said, “This has all happened because of what we did to Joseph long ago. We saw his terror and anguish and heard his pleadings, but we wouldn’t listen. That’s why this trouble has come upon us.” Genesis 42:21

So we see that Joseph must have been terrified and begged and pleaded for his life and they heartlessly ignored his pleas.  We also see that 22 years later they are still plagued by the guilt of what they did.  22 years later they are still held captive by sin.

The good new is, Joseph does get out of the well.   The bad news is the brothers sell him as a slave to a caravan on its way to Egypt.

Let’s stop here in our story and go back to the point we were trying to make:  Don’t let you past determine your future.

Would you agree that if anyone qualifies as a victim, and has the right to play the blame game it would have been Joseph?  Later, you’ll find out that this is not how he chose to handle it. But the truth is, No one can keep you from your God-given destiny  . . . but you. Others can’t keep you from your dreams. We are the keeper of our dreams. No one can limit you, except you . . . its a choice.

You can choose to be a victim and remain a spectator for your entire life, or you can get up and make the world your dance floor.  Your past can’t stop God’s plan, your circumstances can’t stop God’s plan, your education, age, or your color; you are the only one who has that power.

While God did not cause all those awful things his family did to Joseph, it was playing right into God’s plan.  God got him right on the trade route to Egypt exactly where he needed to be to complete his assignment.

end part 1

Posted in Encouragement, Leadership, Parenting, Success

The Winner’s Edge

It’s that time of year again when the diamonds we dream about are made of dirt and chalk.  Which reminds me of a subject I’m pretty passionate about, competition.  A little competition is a good thing.  A lot, not so much!

Tenacity is a great quality, but when carried to the extreme it produces driven people.  You know the kind, the ones who don’t care who they run over or hurt to achieve their goals.  This kind of determination usually has it’s root in pride or insecurity (the other side of pride).  And as we all know, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”  Proverbs 16:18  Pride can disguise itself in any number of subtle ways, but in the end, it always brings destruction.

Teach your children to be winners, but not at the cost of compromise. Compromise brings a shallow and short lived sense of victory.  Teach them to work hard and not to be a quitter. Find something they love more than their penchant for giving up.

My daughter had a tendency to give up when things got hard.  One of her great loves in life is horses.  She’s been horse crazy since she caught her first glimpse of one.  To help her with this character flaw, the quitting not the horses, we gave her riding lessons at a very exclusive stable who trained kids for the Olympic Equestrian events.  I’ll never forget the day that her horse stopped short of the jump and she not so gracefully launched over his head and took the jump without him.  As she lay there on the ground, an erie sense of expectation gripped everyone watching.  It was as though we were all holding our breath, instinctively knowing we were about to witness a life-impacting decision.  Would she get up and get back on the horse, or would she quit?  As she got to her feet there was that hushed expectation as we waited for her reaction.  As she placed her foot in the stirrup and started to pull herself up, there was an audible sigh of relief from the spectators as we witnessed her good choice.  That moment was a turning point in her life that broke the syndrome of giving up when the going got hard.

It’s important that we teach our kids to meet challenges head on, and to go to the principles of the Word for answers to these challenges.  Then, they will always be a winner.  Sometimes the one who comes in first is the winner, but sometimes it’s the one who comes in last.  Appearances can be deceptive.  Winning at the inward qualities is not always as easy as preparing for a foot race, but it is exactly what Paul likens it to.  He talks a lot about running the race and finishing his course, and he ponders the outcome of giving up and not finishing the race.  There is only one race that has eternal consequences, and that’s the where we want to teach our children to focus their greatest energy.

How many great football heroes, champions in their fields such as, scientists, noble prize winners, world figures, and movie idols will stand before the world as victors and before the Judgement Seat of God a failure? Think about that the next time little Johnny’s Little League teams looses a game over an error or a bad call.  Think about the insignificance of that game in light of eternity before you tell the umpire just what you think of his eyesight, or before you bad mouth the coach all the way home in front of your child.  Either one of these acts will have a far greater negative impact on your child than the loss of one game, even if it is the Championship.

Teach your childrenth-2 to be a winner, even when they lose. Their attitudes will determine their tomorrow.  Sometimes it is easier to gain Godly character in a losing situation.  We are not being realistic if we think we will never be faced with trials or difficult circumstances.  If they don’t learn how to handle the loss of a little league game in a Godly manner, how will they deal with more difficult challenges later in life?  Use every circumstance as a learning situation and a teaching moment.  That is how you can turn defeats into victories every time.  Your child will not only gain Godly character, but a more positive outlook on life and a truly humble spirit.  “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6