Author: scourtneylawson

Can you feel it? That twinge of coolness in the air signaling that Fall is just around the corner. The kids are back in school, vacations are over, and life is settling back into a steady hum. Oh, my this all means the holidays are just around the corner! Another year more than half spent. The Lord exhorts us to redeem the time. Each day is a precious gift and we can get so caught up in the mundane daily routines that we can let many of those precious days slip through our fingers like sand. Don’t fall into the routine trap, find ways to make each day fun, exciting, and unpredictable for your family. It doesn’t have to be extravagant to make a great memory, making Smores over the fire pit in the backyard can be a great family time and create a lasting memory. One of our kids favorites was putting up a tent in the backyard and having a backyard camp out.  Treasure each day as a gift and make them count. Please share your ideas – two heads are better than one!  What are some of your favorite ways to invest in your family at this time of year? Do you have any favorite spots or traditions you’d like to pass on? 

This month’s topic for our Vibrant Newsletter was Back-to-School, and as I started researching for my article I found tons of valuable information that just wouldn’t fit into a 200 word article. Over the year’s I’ve noticed going back to school seems to be a really big stressful deal for many families. In fact, at some churches I’ve worked at, it seems to be such a monumental deal that it even affects church attendance for weeks! Whoa! Can you say modeling wrong priorities? If getting your kids ready for the school year is stressing you out, stop, do not pass go, and do not collect $200. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that this is not a big deal, you just need a bird’s eye overview and a simple plan. Remember, you can do all things through Christ!

Start with taking some time a write down every detail of what needs to be accomplished before school starts. Then prioritize it, for example, if your child needs a physical, this will take more time than running to Walmart to pick up some school supplies. You need to make an appointment most of the time, so on your timeline, items like this come first. Then do you need to register or sign up for activities like sports? Of course, you’ll have some shopping for clothes and supplies. To help my budget, I used to pick up one or two items my kids needed each time I shopped for groceries. This really took the sting out of the wallet because it spread the expense out in small bite sized chunks. Plus, I hate shopping, so it eliminated that marathon feel from the whole experience.

Once you get a prioritized list, turn it into a checklist, not a general one, but one that contains all the details you’ll need to no item is forgotten or over looked. Don’t forget the check box. It’s such a feeling of power and accomplishment to check each item off as you complete the task. Then, there it is all on one page. Here’s an abbreviated sample:

Appointment for Bobbie’s physical – Dr Jones – August 2nd @ 2 p.m.

Sign up for soccer team – August 5th @ 4 p.m. Haley Field

Shorts for Bobbie – size 8-10 – blue with white stripe

If your child suffers from anxiety about going to school there are some great resources on the internet that will give you some great ideas. Here are some I found. In your conversations, always speak positively about the upcoming school experience. Don’t fall into the trap of letting your child’s anxiety manipulate you. For example, if they cry about getting on the bus, don’t give in, make them get on the bus with reassuring words like, “ You are going to have a great time. I believe in you, you can do this. I’ll see you before you know it and you can tell me all about the exciting things you did and learned.” This is a good opportunity to bring some spiritual application into the experience. Have your child learn some “anti-fear” Scriptures so they have them in the arsenal when fear tries to attack them. “Fear not for I am with you.” Isaiah 41:10, and “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 are just a couple. Also driving them to the school in advance and maybe playing on the playground, or looking in the classrooms may help relieve some of their tension. Even if your child is not experiencing apprehension, it’s a great opportunity to discuss the spiritual challenges they may face in the school setting and to coach them, not nag, on making Godly choices and being an example. If you’ve never taught your kids about standing alone, this would be a great time to do it. It’s our job as parents to set our kids up for success by teaching them the “whys” and “hows” of making Godly decisions.

Another great idea is to begin to slowly adjust bedtime back from summer mode to school mode, so that by the time school starts the kids are already back in their routine.

Over the summer vacation, your kid’s brains can turn to mush. They are most likely out of the classroom discipline mode of daily studies and like any muscle, your mind needs consistent exercise to stay strong. If your kids begin reading everyday and then either discussing or writing about what they read, they can start the year off ahead of the game. You may want them to also start doing a few math problems as well as any other subjects that your child might struggle with. Even if they excel, they can still get rusty.

Here are some helpful websites. http://schoolfamily.com/, http://www.ehow.com/how_2252939_get-ones-child-ready-back.html, the parentsite.com,

So getting ready for Back-To School is really no big thing if you do just a minimal amount of planning and organization. You will set up a win for both you and your child!

Over the years, I have discovered that the single most difficult aspect of parenting is that it forces you to look at yourself.  Not just an occasional glance mind you, but those good hard looks right into the eye of your character. Whoa!

I’ve also discovered that good parenting is just plain hard work.  Many times it rubs against the grain of your soul.  It’s not just getting up at 3 a.m. to clean up vomit off your brand new off white carpet (you knew you shouldn’t have let them drink the grape Koolaid right before bed), but it is the continual series of seemly tiny sacrifices that make for a job well done.  It’s stopping to listen to what’s troubling them when you have 10 minutes to finish dinner, get cleaned up and get to your tennis lesson.  It’s listening to what their heart is saying, and not just their words.  It’s missing your favorite show to pick them up from a youth activity.  Or sometimes, it’s saying, “no” when it would have been easier to say, “yes.”  Or, “yes,” when it would have been more convenient to say, “no.”  In parenting, like any other endeavor in life, it is the little extra efforts that push you over the top from the realm of mediocrity into excellence.

I don’t often write in the front of my Bible, but a guest speaker made a comment once that I wrote on the front flap so I would never forget it. Sin will always take you further than you want to go, keep you longer than you wanted to stay and cost you more than you can pay. This can apply to personal sin, but I think it can also apply to our parenting.  From time to time I think we need to check out our internal motivations and evaluate our priorities.

For example, as parents it is so important that we emphasize spiritual qualities not physical attributes.  Again we must examine our own lives through the mirror of God’s Word.  Even though as Christians we know that God is our first priority, it pays to take a moment to evaluate our state now and then.  In our hustle bustle society, it is so easy for wrong priorities to creep in.  If our emphasis is on the physical, we will communicate this to our children.  Let’s face it, our entire society worships beauty.  The advertisers sell everything from cars to beer with beautiful faces and great bodies.  Then our poor little pimple-faced teens look in the mirror and what do they see?  Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with a flat chest. Let’s be real here, okay?  How many of us could contend in the Miss America Pageant?  But the media makes us feel like if we are less than the proverbial “10” we are somehow doomed to failure as a human being.   God says to the contrary in  2 Corinthians 4:16 “That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.”

It is vital, imperative, can’t be repeated enough times, urgently important that we in no way, act, word or deed communicate to our children that their worth as a human being is in anyway attached to the things that we can see with our outward eye.  It is not our looks, our bodies, our intelligence, or even our talents that make us valuable as a human being.  If we instill only one truth in them, it must be that it is their character that is of paramount importance.  It is only the inward beauty that can endure and grow with time.  If we encourage them to put all their time and energy into something that is doomed to wither with time, then we have robbed them. and they are at risk of becoming bitter, shallow and empty adults.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that if your daughter is running for Miss America that you are a bad parent, or that your daughter is going to grow into a nasty old hag.  What I am saying is if your daughter is running for Miss America, emphasize the inward development of character that can be gained from the experience, and not her outward beauty.

1 Peter 3:3-4 “Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

I have only one brief religious experience as a Freshman in High School.  For a while, I attended a youth group at a Lutheran Church.  I remember the youth pastor, a nice looking enthusiastic young guy who was really passionate about what he was doing.  He had just recently gotten engaged and was so excited about the prospect of introducing us to his fiance.  He was obviously smitten.  Finally the day came that she arrived from out of state.  The church gave a special Welcome Reception for her.  When I saw her, I was more than a little shocked.  The way he spoke of her, I thought she’d be drop dead gorgeous, but instead, she was plain, maybe even homely.  I wondered what he could have possibly see in this Plain Jane.  Then something strange happened, as I got to know her, she was so lovely on the inside that when I looked at her she actually started to look different to me.  The longer I knew her, the more beautiful she became.  Her inward beauty shone so brightly it obscured her plainness.  That is what 1 Peter 3:3-4 is talking about.

I make it a habit not to praise my children for anything that they have no control over like their looks or talents.  I do encourage them for great efforts, good attitudes, the making of right choices, and for no particular reason at all just because I love them for who they are.