HOW TO HAVE THE FAMILY YOU’VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF – PART 3

Standard

th#3 –  BE the Real Deal – Because They’ll Become Who You Are

Our children become who we are, not what we tell them they should be.

Reality is, we are our kid’s first glimpse of God so what we do is just as important as what we say.  When our kids see us, they need to see Jesus. How they perceive us is how they will perceive God. 

If we’re angry all the time, they see God as angry. If they can never achieve enough, they get a B and you think they should have gotten an A – then they will see God as someone who is impossible to please.

I always felt loved by my Dad.  I knew I was his little girl.  However, at the same time I always felt like I never quite measured up no matter how hard I tried.  I was an only child and I’m not sure if the fact I was a girl disappointed him or what.  I just always was haunted with the feeling I wasn’t good enough,  I remember one time I got all As and he asked if my school gave A+s.  I must admit I struggle to this day with the fear that God sees me as not measuring up.

Our job is to train, model, coach and be an example in qualities like faithfulness, forgiveness, respect for authority, honesty, responsibility, and gratefulness.

Training is instruction and demonstration with a specific result in mind.

Our intended result is seeing that the character of Christ is formed in our kids, and that they have a personal relationship with Him and  learn how to make wise life choices.

I think this passage from the Message says it so well.

‘So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.’ Romans 12:1-2 msg

As parents and leaders, we are influencing everyone we encounter.  Someone is watching our life.  The question is not am I influencing someone?  It’s how am I influencing them?

When we first became Christians our best friends thought we were crazy and just on another hair-brained wild one.  Over the next 3 years we saw them now and then and always showed them the love of Jesus, but didn’t preach at them.  Finally Debbie agreed to go to church with me an during one of the songs fell into my arms sobbing as she accepted Christ.  They had watched us those years and saw that the changes God had made in us were real.  They both came to Christ and follow Him to this day.

That’s the power of influence and being genuine.  People are watching you.  Your kids are watching you.  That does not mean you have to be perfect. But you should be growing in the right direction. You should always be improving yourself, reading, listening to teachings, serving, spending time in God’s presence, and keeping yourself stirred up in the Lord. When you do these things, you’ll find you initiate the butterfly effect.  The Butterfly Theory was developed by Edward Norton Lorenz a mathematician and meteorologist who was on of the first to propose the chaos theory. Lorenz speculated that if a butterfly flapped its wings in South America it would effect the weather in Texas.  This is how our influence effects our kids the small things we do or don’t do, good or bad, have huge ramifications on their lives.   Live like their lives depend on it, because they do.

 

How To Have The Family You’ve Always Dreamed Of – Part 2

Standard

th

Last time we talked about the power of our words and we asked ourselves “What are we naming things?”  Today, we’re going to discuss another important principle.  Are you ready for principle number two?

#2 – Implement the 90/10 Principle

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to get focused on the things your loved ones do wrong?  I believe one of the most common reasons is wrong focus (thinking) or self focus (thinking). Most parents realize that their kids are a reflection of them, and if their kid looks bad, they look bad.  This may even be at a subconscious level.

In any case, this can make you focus on the 10% of their behavior that’s wrong instead of the 90% of their behavior that’s right.  Let’s call that the 10/90 Principle. Its the little voice in your head that’s screaming, “You’re making me look bad with that 10%.”  Here’s the problem with that.  Whatever you focus on becomes the focus.  It gets bigger.

Think of your own life, when someone, a parent, a spouse, a boss, tends to focus on what you do wrong and never or rarely praises for what you do right, what happens?  You feel defeated!  Right?  It either makes you feel mad or it makes you want to give up. That’s why the Word says in

Ephesians 6:4 – Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master. msg

While you can’t ignore disobedience, and we’ll hit that one at a later date,. you need to focus far more of your energy on encouraging and coaching them in what they are doing right.  There are already enough sources telling them everything they do wrong. Besides, when we focus primarily on what they do wrong, it creates a defeated spirit and can ultimately lead to rebellion.  When we focus on the 90% right, the 10% usually self corrects. So make a choice to affirm what they do right daily and tell them.  Here’s an assignment: Pray and ask God to show you all the great qualities in your child, or your spouse for that matter, and then make a list of them and thank God for them everyday. It will reprogram your thinking and get you out of this rut. Decide to implement the 90/10 principle today!

How To Have The Family You’ve Always Dreamed Of – Part 1

Standard

thEarly on we had a revelation that our children were going to become who we were, not who we told them to be. and that our influence would be directly proportional to our obedience.  We were in agreement that we wanted to raise our kids God’s way.  So, we dove into the Word, especially Proverbs, and soaked it in . . . we were clueless, all we knew is if the Book said it, we’d should do it.  Proverbs 22:6, really stood out to us.

Proverbs 22:6

Point your kids in the right direction—when they’re old they won’t be lost. msg

As we studied, we began to see our job as not regulating but coaching and training.

Over the years, we adopted these principles into our parenting and they were huge, so I want to pass them on to you over the next few weeks.

# 1 – The Name It Principle

“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.”  Proverbs 18:21 Message Bible

God shows us his intentions for mankind in the Book of Genesis.  He had just finished creating virtually everything.  He did not need any help, yet he assigned Adam the creative task of naming all the animals.

Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name.

Genesis 2:19 NKJV

Here God gave us the “Name It Principle” (The principle of creation.)  Remember, we are created in His image just like Adam.  Whatever Adam named the animals, that’s what they were called.  God was teaching the created how to create.  This is the same principle that God used when He created everything.  When He gave it to Adam, He gave it to us.

What do you name it?

Here’s an example:

God brings an opportunity to one man and says, “What do you name it?”

The man says, “That’s impossible. it can’t be done, it is way too hard.”

Then He brings the exact same opportunity to someone else and asks the same question, “What do you name it?”

This guy says, “This is the opportunity I’ve been looking for for years!  I can’t believe how lucky I am.  I can do this!!!”

The same opportunities, vastly different results.  It’s the way you think that makes the difference.  It all starts with a thought.

Let’s take this principle to our parenting.  God gives you a child and says, “What do you name him?”

Do you name him “Can’t you do anything right?”  or “What is wrong with you? I’ve told you 1,000 times.”  or possibly worst of all, “I wish you’d never been born.”

And realize, sometimes it is not the direct words you speak, but how your child filters what you say that makes it reality for them.

On the other hand, you could name your child what the Bible says:

You’re the head and not the tail.

You are more than a conquerer

You are made for greatness.

You have the mind of Christ.

“God has an amazing plan for your life.”  He is going to use you to change the world and impact thousands of lives.”

What you focus on (think about), and what you say is what you get.  A thought gives birth to words, and words give birth to actions. It’s the principle of creation at work.

So why do we sometimes speak words that kill instead of words that give life?

Press Release

Standard

Sandy's Web Pic Hey guys, its me!  I just got back from Hollywood where I received a Quilly award for my contribution to Brian Tracy’s new book “Transform” the whole experience just  was just unbelievably amazing!  Then I saw this press release.

Sandy Lawson Hits Amazon Best-Seller List With New Book, “Transform”

Writer and speaker Sandy Lawson recently hit two Amazon.com best-seller lists with the new business book, “Transform,” co-authored with best-selling author and speaker Brian Tracy.

Wentzville, MO – September 18, 2014 Sandy Lawson serves as a Care Pastor at Element Church, in Wentzville Missouri, one of the fastest growing churches America. Sandy recently joined noted business development expert, best-selling author and speaker, Brian Tracy, along with a select group of the world’s leading experts, to co-author the book titled, Transform: The World’s Leading Entrepreneurs and Professionals Get to the Heart and Soul of Transforming your Life, Business & Health. The book was released on September 18, 2014 by CelebrityPress™ – a leading business book publisher.

On the day of release, Transform reached best-seller status in two Amazon.com categories – reaching as high as #6 in the “Direct Marketing” category. The book also reached best-seller status in the “Marketing and Small Business” category. Sandy contributed a chapter titled, “The Relationship Transformation…Taking Relationships From Terminal to Transformed.”

Sandy Lawson has over 30 years of experience partnering with her husband, Kip, in family ministry and outreach. She’s had the privilege of serving on staff at three mega churches prior to Element Church. In addition, she and her husband also had the honor of building the bus ministry of the Oneighty Youth Group at Church on the Move in Tulsa, Oklahoma from 400 riders weekly to nearly 1,500 riders each week.

Her biggest joy is coaching people in their personal relationships and helping them reach their God-given potential. She and her husband have helped hundreds of couples turn failing marriages into happily-ever-afters, as well as assisting parents in their quest to create healthy thriving families. In their career, Sandy and her husband have been a major influence in the lives of thousands of children, teens, and adults around the world. Sandy is the mother of three, and the grandmother of eight wonderful grandkids. She and her husband have been married over 45 years. She was educated at Santa Rosa Junior College and Sonoma State University in California.

She is the author of a parenting book, “Parenting Through the Mirror” which explores the concept that great parenting must begin with personal transformation. She is also the author and illustrator of a children’s geology book, “Iggy and the Volcano” that teaches kids the cycle of igneous rocks. Sandy is a freelance writer, speaker, blogger and was a major contributor to an internationally distributed children’s curriculum.

It’s Time for a New Transformation

Standard

Sandy-Lawson-Cover-Front

Over the last 8 months leading professionals were chosen in various niches and professions who exemplify a trailblazer mentality and didn’t let the world’s lure of comfort keep them from taking chances and having HUGE Success. We were asked to co-author in a book with the legendary Brian Tracy and we were all held to one standard, we all had to be willing to share openly, no holding back, the most valuable secrets we had in our tool box. As you can imagine putting that sort of thing in writing for the world to see is a bit intimidating….but I’m excited to tell you that every single one of us agreed! And now I am able to proudly present your next “must have” book that will transform your life and business to where you want it to be.

The book we co-wrote together “Transform” is launching this Wednesday, Sept. 17th, and we’d love to have your support and get this book off to a great start. For a sneak peek, checkout http://sandylawson.thetransformbook.com/

I appreciate you and I’ll get back with you to remind you about the launch and to tell you more about the bonuses I’m putting together!  Stay tuned.

Releasing Soon . . . Transform

Standard

Sandy-Lawson-Cover-Front

Book Summary

Are you ready to be Transformed?  Our new book is scheduled for release soon.  Get a sneak peek at http://sandylawson.thetransformbook.com/

The World’s Leading Entrepreneurs and Professionals Get to the Heart and Soul of Transforming Your Life, Business & Health

When we think of transformation, we automatically think of metamorphosis or change. One of the first metamorphoses we discover as a child is the universally quoted change of the caterpillar into the butterfly. The positive symbolism of this transformation is liberally applied to illustrate the change from “ugly duckling” to “elegant swan” in all fields.

This symbolism readily transfers to just about any change for the better. The guidance of individuals who have experienced positive change with mentoring, have taken calculated risks, and enjoyed accomplishments in their field may be seen as role models. We also note that the transformations of the PremierExperts® in this book are not limited by “dollars and cents” measurement, but include body, mind and soul accomplishments.

The transforming experiences discussed by the PremierExperts® in this book cover many subjects, including positive mindset changes, changes wrought by perseverance, passion, due diligence, restructuring, technology, systems, techniques, etc. In fact, they cover positive changes that cut across numerous disciplines and fields.

So get ready to TRANSFORM yourself for success!!!

 

 

 

 

Life is NOT a Solo Sport

Standard

th

“A word of encouragement from a teacher to a child can change a life. A word of encouragement from a spouse can save a marriage. A word of encouragement from a leader can inspire a person to reach their potential.”

John Maxwell

 

God never intended for us to be a solo act completely self-sufficient and in need of no one. The words of the great Christian poet, John Donne, are as true today as when he penned them in 1624, “No man is an island unto himself.” We need Godly relationships!

They say, you can know where you will be in five years by looking at the books you’re reading and the friends you spend time with. The really great news is we can control both what we read and whom we chose to spend time with. The trick is to chose wisely.  

As for me, I know I have a true friend when they love me enough to tell me the truth, even when it is not what I want to hear. A so called friend who won’t tell you the honest truth is paramount to the person who won’t tell you the “bridge is out” because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. Proverbs 27:17 encourages us that “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”

From time to time, it is good to do a little self-check. First ask yourself, “Have I surrounded myself with good Godly friends? Second, ask yourself, “Am I a good Godly friend?” Third, ask yourself, “Would I want my conversations with my friends broadcast over the speaker system of Heaven?” If you can’t answer a hearty “Yes” to all these questions, now would be a great time to make some changes. We only have one run at this life, choose wisely those you surround yourself with, make sure they are the ones who will cheer you over the finish line of life.

“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” Proverbs 27:9